10 Relationship Tips for Newlyweds

The dating phase is a whirlwind and full of excitement; the wedding planning phase is full of decisions and happy cries; and the wedding day is full of romance and new beginnings. As a newlywed, you are entering a new phase where you will begin creating the foundation for your life together. You are now past simply living together, and are now learning to share a life together. Compromise and compassion go hand in hand, and here are a few tips to help you handle the ups and downs and remember what is most important.

Put Each Other First

It’s now time to say goodbye to soul-searching with a best bud, and it is between you and your spouse to get through tough times, make decisions, and seek a shoulder to cry on. Your new spouse becomes your top priority. It is easy to make decisions on your own but it is important to speak with your spouse first before jumping the gun, even for seemingly small decisions.

Practice Being Emotionally Mature

Being emotionally mature means never sacrificing your respect for your spouse no matter what mood you are in. It is easy to respect your spouse when you’re happy, but it is equally important to respect your spouse when you’re angry, frustrated, or sad. If you make it a point for yourself to keep this commitment, you will set a strong foundation for your marriage. And, you will be more likely to receive the same treatment in return: a spouse who respects you.

Something’s Aren’t Worth Fighting For

Not everything is worth a fight. You may have heard the old adage, “choose your battles wisely.” Well, this is definitely true for marriage. Life is short, and it isn’t going to help your marriage if you two are always bickering, arguing, and allowing yourselves to build anger for each other. And there is another adage that is true: “You get bees with honey.” There is almost always a better way to approach a situation besides losing your marbles.

Treat Them Like They Want to be Treated

Yep, that saying you were told as a child still rings true today as an adult. But it is slightly different for marriage. You see, you and your spouse are different people, so you should treat them like they want to be treated. They may love, appreciate, and enjoy totally different things than you, and they will really appreciate it if you take the time and effort to treat them according to their unique self.

Laugh A Lot

Laugh often and love deeply. Whenever possible, laugh off a situation and allow yourselves not to take each other so seriously. Be open to life’s silly moments and your marriage will be better for it. Frustration and anger can cripple you and deteriorate your marriage little by little. But laughter instantly turns those feelings around.

Receive Rather Than Listen

Listening merely means hearing sounds, and receiving your spouse means focusing on the words, meaning, and context your spouse is saying. Practice receiving the messages from your spouse and making them feel seen, heard, understood, and mattered.

Set Goals Together

Goals are not your own anymore; they are conjoined and a double decision. Look at the big picture and actively make plans together for your careers, finances, family, travel, retirement, and more. Setting goals together sets the tone that you could not do life on your own. When you do reach your goals, it will feel so great to have worked together and have accomplished it as a partnership.

Choose Acceptance Over Criticism

It can be difficult to realize when you’re being critical rather than being accepting. That is why you need to actively choose to feel acceptance. Make the commitment to prioritize and dwell upon all of your spouse’s good traits, achievements, and actions, rather than the not-so good stuff. Point out the good things they do, rather than focusing on what they didn’t do.

Find a Balance

Just as important as it is to spend quality together, it will be healthy to make time for your friends, allow your spouse to spend time with his friends, and schedule double dates with other couples all in proportion to what makes you both feel happy and satisfied.

Rough Water Will Come

For some reason, we are made to believe that once you get married, life is all sunshine and roses. And even the first year of wedding won’t be total bliss, there will be frustrations. And it only makes sense. You’re now in the real deal. You are figuring out what it’s like to share a life together, and it is a constant push and pull to figure out the right balance, what works for you, what things will be consistent frustrations, and what you will probably need to work on for a long time. Because change takes time, and that’s okay.

At the end of the day, all you have to remember and focus on is that you love your spouse. Set that as the defining factor for your behavior and actions, and you will have a long and happy marriage.